Senior Citizen Apartments

0:15 - 0:30

Introduction to the Show

When we think of retirement, we think of seniors in a particular way, and we need to change that way. This show is going to talk all about the idea of age being just a number. I'm going to get guests who have done this in the past, who have really lived a life from very, very lows to very, very highs. Welcome to a new show, Adding Zindagi to Years. I'm very excited to welcome my first guest, who has broken a lot of societal norms, gone through tough times, and is now known as the Silver Fox, Mr. Dinesh Mohan. Welcome to the show.

0:30 - 0:45

Guest Introduction

Welcome. Thank you so much. Good to have you here. Yes, I'm very excited. Same here. Whatever I saw and what I'm seeing now, wow, you look cool. I appreciate it. Thank you so much. Thank you. Good to have you. I'm very excited about this show. We're going to be chatting about your life, and I hope your life will actually inspire a lot of people. I've seen some of your videos, and one of the things I learned was that in the early 2000s, you went through a lot of tough times. Let's start with your tough times a bit.

0:45 - 2:00

Dinesh's Struggles with Depression

Yes, I had to undergo certain difficult circumstances in my life. I'm sure everybody has those, but at that time, I couldn't take it in a manner that suited my circumstances more. I went into depression because of those. There were a few personal tragedies, and things went totally off track. Slowly, I started slipping into depression, and it became full-blown very soon, resulting in a lot of other ailments, medical and mental. This went on for quite a long time. 2000 was the dark year, so to say, in my life. A lot of people go through that. Tell me a little more about it. During this depression, what are the things that happened in your life from the perspective of health, family, and so on? I shifted my town. I was staying somewhere else and then shifted to Gurgaon at that time. I thought escaping that situation would make me free of all those things, but when you come out of the storm, that's when you sit down and start taking note of what all you have lost in your life. When I came here to this town, Gurgaon, and settled down here, I realized that I had lost a lot in life. My job had gone, my family had gone, my home had gone, and my finances were all gone. This pushed me deeper and deeper into depression because I was very young at that time, and everybody wants to be active and have an active life. But my circumstances were not conducive to a good life, and a lot of thinking and mulling over the past pushed me deeper into that dark hole. It was totally bottomless, very dark, and very difficult. Slowly, I realized that that was a good thing, that was actually the only good thing that happened, is that I realized that I might be suffering from some mental ailment because my reactions were not as they used to be before 2000. After that, my reactions became very negative, very self-defeating, very self-destructive. So, yeah, it was discovered that I have clinical depression. A lot of people know people who are in depression, and I guess everybody would know somebody or the other, either themselves or somebody in depression. This figuring out that your viewpoint was not the same before and after, how did you realize these things? Because it's a very difficult thing to realize for a lot of people. It is a very difficult thing to realize, but then I was always this above-average intelligent person, and I could realize that something wrong was happening with me. Every morning, you get up and decide, "Okay, today I'm going to face it," but then within an hour or so, you feel this down feeling, and you don't feel like getting up from your bed or doing anything, or even having your daily routine. Everything goes out of sync. So, it made me wonder, "What is happening to me? Should I seek some professional help or what should I do?" So, I talked to my family members that I'm not feeling normal because I feel like crying. All these things made me realize that, okay, and that was the first step, in fact, that I at least recognized. The lucky part was that I had people to communicate with. Communication was very important at that time. Were they telling you that you're depressed? No, no, no, no. This realization came from my side only because I could compare myself. Some people are, by birth, they have a certain nature, and they know what is so. I could realize that this is not me, this is not the person that I knew from always. And what is the reason why I can't? Everybody goes through struggles, everybody has difficult circumstances, but why am I not being able to cope up with whatever has happened to me? And why was I giving up? So, everybody has dreams, and dreams are what make you live your life. I realized that I'm no longer dreaming. I'm not planning my future. I'm not dreaming of a future. So, it was a very bad state to be in. You're existing, you're just trying to exist. So, that is what made me realize, yeah. I don't know what your family members were going through because a lot of times, if I see somebody in depression, I want to help out, but I don't know how to. And I don't know what your family support was like or questions like that on that side. They were all equally naive, I guess. They had not seen a depressed person ever before in their lives. So, they were also equally, you know, at this crossroads, how to deal with this, what to do. They were all trying to find out solutions as I was also trying to, but my solutions were different. The difference was that they were coming from a healthy mindset, and that is what helped me. Thank God for that. I was coming from this unhealthy thought process, and I was trying to, initially, I was trying to seek their pity. You get comfortable in a pitiful situation. You don't want to change your situation because people would come to me and say, "Oh," and this would give me some kind of validation. This is not of my doing, you know, that's okay. But very soon, I started realizing, okay, this is mostly your own doing too.

3:30 - 4:15

Dinesh's Recovery Journey

...They went for a toss. I was at my lowest point, and I thought, "Okay, this is it. I'm finished." But then, something happened. I don't know what, but something clicked inside me. I thought, "Okay, this is not happening. I'm not going to give up." I started with small things, very small things. I started with walking a few steps. I started with eating a little less, and that was a huge task in itself. I started reading a lot, and I started meditating. And slowly, very slowly, I started seeing a change. The change was very, very slow, but it was there. My body started responding. My mind started responding. I started getting better. I started walking more. I started eating healthier. And then, I started working out. I started going to the gym. And then, I started working out very seriously. And then, I started competing in bodybuilding competitions. And now, I'm known as the Silver Fox.

4:15 - 4:30

Dinesh's Message of Hope

So, my message to everybody is that it's never too late. It doesn't matter how old you are, it doesn't matter what your circumstances are. If you have the will, you can do anything. You can overcome any challenge. You can turn your life around. And you can live a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

Today our guest is a little different she is a person who is reliving her childhood passion at the age of 60 she started dancing again we have Dancing Dadi with us who got 49 million views on her first video i would like to welcome Mrs Ravi Bala Sharma thank you for coming first your so elegant so nice so refreshing to see you it's always such a nice feeling thank you so I know you we are talking about today's passion but this is from childhood, you know like you were always into music and things like that, so tell us a little about it, what was your childhood like and how was music to you, my father was a musician, okay, there were classes in my home classes used to be classical, my father taught me vocal and instrumental music, Kathak classes were conducted in my house, I used to attend them too well I have learnt the basic things of Katha, okay, that's where my passion started, because classical is difficult and tough, so generally when kids come to learn or we learn at home, then whatever sargam father sang in it, we have to sing it in the same way as we sang on the tabla but it seems a little difficult to play the lyrics as they are told and not everyone is interested in them, I too was interested because at that time there used to be radio, we used to listen to film songs, we used to like them a lot, we used to think that whatever What my father teaches is different, this one is much better, so it started from there. Yes, my passion for bollywood started from childhood, listening to songs on the radio, and music is in our blood, so in all of us siblings. It started from there. You used to secretly dance to bollywood music as well. Yes, Bilkul, as we grew up, there were eight siblings in the house, so my father used to take classes in the morning and in the evening. Then we used to go for tuitions, so during his time we used to learn classical music and also practice, okay When father used to leave, he used to go to school and when he used to come back from school, the radio time used to be 1:30 pm, the songs used to start coming from 1:00 pm and whenever there was a dance song in it, then he started swaying Or like it is Sunday, so on Sunday cleaning is going on in the house, all of us used to work in the house, so somewhere cleaning is going on, somewhere food is being cooked, mummy is cooking, so I saw that mummy has gone to the kitchen, my While she was working she closed the room and a dance song was playing so she left her work and first danced and then came out because only one song was playing and after that she didn't know which song would come so the shock started from there. It happened oh great and after that you got married to what age do you get married you got married at your age and after that you got married I was 30 years old when I got married okay and so when you know you also danced in college yes When my father taught me the basics of vocals and instruments, my father was also in college, and I took classes from him in college too. She was mine, well and at that time there was a competition, once upon a time there was a competition, now father knew that she likes to do Bollywood dance, well he knew, he knew, yes my mother must have told me that she can dance, so Father knew that she liked dance but we had a classical environment. Father wanted that whatever his daughter or son learns, they should learn classical and sing the same on stage. So I have sung classical on stage and also played music and drama. At that time I had won an award from the academy. When my father used to teach in college, there used to be competitions. In the competition my father said that you should give your classical performance. So the competition that used to happen at that time, the one that used to be organized, used to be classical as well and There were also Bollywood dances, so I taught tabla as well as vocals in the dance competition. When I went on behalf of the college, there were five-six children of ours, I prepared them for the dance and they participated in the competition. By chance it so happened that my father was there They were sitting to give judgement, I was in the front row, I went to the back, my father had come and I went to the back, so the whole action got messed up because I was the one leading the team, I went to the back and it got messed up, but My father saw that she is dancing here but he did not say anything, he did not say anything at home but told my mother that she was dancing there and I told her that brother, there is a Bollywood song on the stage outside Don't do P, do Katha, do your classical, but he didn't say anything, that okay I did it, if he was interested in it, he did it, but for me at that time I was very scared that I will get a scolding when I go home, oh great, and now you know about marriage After you understood music a bit, you followed it as a profession. After I got married, my mother-in-law, father-in-law and my husband thought that since she has learnt music, she should not stop it. They started learning music at home. I have been given permission to run classes and you can teach them at home. Before marriage, I have worked and after that, when I retired from there, I did the design, okay what type of job did I do, I was in college, yes and there was a company, the company was Tabla Companies in college, okay yes, so I resigned from there because my husband used to work in Delhi, I was in Bareilly, okay, so I did designing from there After that I stayed at home with my in-laws in Khurja, I got married and stayed there, my in-laws told me that if you are fond of music then you should open a coaching type thing, you can start teaching it, so the kids there were also He too wanted to learn Bollywood music and dance, so he too wanted to learn Bollywood or playing Dholak, he did not want to learn any classical music, there was no classical music there either and for how many years did you do this, I did this for four years, yes in between I took a break, at that time I had kids, both of them were mine, well I had both the kids early in my marriage, yes, after marriage, then I had both the kids within four years, okay, and when I had kids, then I used to teach them Dholak because I couldn't dance. When I was young I used to teach Dholak, but as long as I was fine I said yes brother let's go Now she wanted to learn Bollywood, so she used to teach Bollywood and what did you do after four years? After four years, my husband had a job in Delhi, so he made me apply, there was a vacancy in Delhi Government School, so I qualified by writing there. First, okay, then I had an interview at Delhi University, I cleared it and got a job in Delhi Government School in 1993, oh and then I joined the job and after that I used to teach music there, yes, then I started teaching in school did it, ok great and when did you retire? I retired in 2019, it happened in 2019, ok great so and after that when you started this Bollywood dancing and everything again, when did I start that after retirement, when I shifted from Delhi to Mumbai hmm yes and after six-seven months the lockdown happened yes during the lockdown I started that and what got you that after 2019 when you retired what was on your mind that you wanted to do this that you have to carry on Bollywood music That Your clarity was there or not, no, it was nothing, so when I retired, I was thinking that Mumbai is a new city for me, how will I settle there, what will I do, I was not able to understand, so when I When I shifted there, my son took me there, there is a park where I used to live, he showed me parks in the morning and evening, mummy, you can visit there in the morning and evening, he showed me four-five places, I went to the place where I used to live I started and made friends there, I made friends in the morning as well as in the evening, I used to do yoga with them in the morning, chat, all that, but I will start this work that my journey of dancing will start like this I had not thought at all that I would go to Mumbai and start teaching or pursue my passion, there was nothing like that, I just wanted to chat with friends in the morning and then a plan was made in the evening that let's go there today for a trip in Mumbai. If there is any temple of Lakshmi Narayan ji, we would go there or go out to eat or drink somewhere, all this used to happen friends we went to his house, took a stroll in the park, that was all that would happen or if we would gather in the park then there would be some antakshari, we would do that, everyone would find out that the music teacher had also heard the song, so we would listen to the song, all this would happen, I did not think about anything else that I would do something like this after going to Mumbai and then the lockdown happened and I think lockdown was a thing for you. How did this idea come in the lockdown that you know you will start Bollywood dancing again and during the lockdown, both of us, mother and son, were talking I did not know what to do, I used to keep on writing, sometimes I turned on the TV, at that time Ramayan and Mahabharat also started, so I started watching them and started following Arun Govil, I thought this is very good acting. When I was small I had seen Ramayana, after that I saw Ramayana, so I started watching Ramayana and Mahabharata, but still I felt that what after this, so I was talking to my son that what should I do, he was saying Mummy, you should practice singing, you should practice playing the tabla, so I said, listen, can I dance? Should we make a video of the dance and upload it because that The time of social media had begun, I started watching people's stories because I had free time, what should I do first and see, so I said let's make it, mom I made that reel, then she posted it, I had not opened an account yet on Fu I put it in, he said mummy, yes people are watching it, there are good views, so I said yes, then what happened during that time was that there was a group of senior citizens, they told me that you make a small dance reel and send it to them, so I sent it to them He told me to tell my friends to share it, I told him to share it, it went viral, it went viral, so after that I felt that everyone is liking my dance and why not us and reel Let's make it oh wow then the son said ok then you should play an instrument or sing, dancing as you know at an age generally you don't know how to do it but you did that dancing, any physical challenge during that time you see me with my age I have arthritis problem and knee problem, I cannot dance for long. I use caps etc to protect my legs. After applying it I dance, okay and that is it, but the thing is that fitness will come only when I dance, there should be movement of the body, there should be physical exercise, so I take care of that, I dance very carefully so that I don't get hurt Keeping in mind that my foot should not get sprained or my bone should not get fractured, I take only those actions which I can do. I do not force myself and for this I also take some help from physiotherapist. For my legs and arthritis, yes, I keep taking treatment from time to time, I also keep taking medicines, I take a good diet so that my bones remain strong, I do exercise daily, my workout is for one and a half to two hours, well one and a half to two hours What is this, when you started dancing, did you start working out or you were already doing workouts, I used to do it earlier but I couldn't do it that much because I was short of time, during the lockdown I got more time to do it I started that too, my workout started, earlier I used to walk, I just did some small exercises, then when I I found out that I might have a bone problem and arthritis, so I went to Fuse Therapy, where they told me about exercises, which I started doing at home, got a massage done, I even called them home for massage, and I did all those things. But now I have continued it on a regular basis, yes, I do not call my doctor daily for massage, I do it myself, if any massage of my feet is required, I do it myself and I do exercises which I feel are beneficial for me. I do what the physiotherapist told me to do, I take a proper diet and I exercise regularly, I do yoga, walks and the other exercises are fantastic because I have seen a lot of seniors who are in some pain and do n't go to a physiotherapist and There is pain in the knee and this muscle pain happens and if you make your muscles strong then you will have the capability of doing more and you will enjoy life more, right because if your muscles are strong then I am glad that you are doing all these things And how many hours do you dance? How much time do you dance? If I dance once, it's not like I do it for an hour, one and a half or two hours. I mainly do morning exercise for one and a half to two hours. In the meantime, I do dance videos which I have seen on the previous day and Whatever song I have seen and memorized, I also do that at that time; how for its action I have got a huge mirror installed by my son and I stand in front of it and watch the action as if the light is above I am raising my hand so its shadow is not falling on my face, I do all those things at that time in the morning and did you learn anything about it that you learned it with passion on your own that this Is its shadow visible or not? My son makes a job, he says, Mummy, there is a shadow coming from you, you are a little behind, the light is not coming properly on your face, you move a little to the side, you move a little here, lift my face up and down a little, then I got the idea that if I put my hand here then my eyes will not be visible, so I will move my hand a little upwards and then my The expressions of the eyes will be visible, I do all those things in front of the mirror, that too as my morning practice, I do all the exercises and yoga at that time, otherwise when I see that my son is not at home, no one is there, then I spend 5-10 minutes So let's stand up and dance. So, I dance for 15 to half an hour to 40 minutes. Dance is your in-away. You are giving those words to people through your expressions as an impression. And what is dance, isn't it that you say everything through your face and that itself is dance? It is not necessary that you dance by jumping around, your facial expressions, which are the words of that line, you are showing it through your face and postures, others are enjoying it. The other person who is watching you is enjoying it, that is what dance is, very nice and one more thing someone told me that if you danced, you would have to remember the steps as well, so your memory also keeps improving. That's absolutely sir it's a very interesting thing Very good absolutely and ma'am, while social media is a flaw as well, it can also be an enemy, so on social media where there are good things, a lot of negative comments also come, you have to face a lot of difficulties also, some of that type I had to face difficulties, it keeps happening, when people watch dance, they write something here and there, I don't consider it a difficulty, I think that it is our society, there are both kinds of people who will see this thing from a positive perspective If we look at him from a bad perspective, then what do we have to see, the one who is looking from a good perspective, we should listen to him, it is possible that the one who is looking from a bad perspective may also like it after some time, he should also look, he is watching my dance And in that, he is saying that your feet are going into the cover, you are dancing, you are doing puja, he is also on social media, and he is also uploading his pictures, he is uploading something of his own, so how is that someone else's If someone can speak for this then I think that one day or the other, someone will come who will also say that yes, this Whatever she is doing, she is doing the right thing because he is also going there to enjoy, he might have liked it, maybe he did not reach where I have reached, after some time he will also reach there, I am all about those kids I pray that those people who are working hard and putting something on social media should also progress andmove forward, so I watch their videos and if I am happy then I face it, okay I watch it that It's okay, it doesn't matter, if I ever get angry then I delete it, instead of that I post it, whatever it is, I say, okay, Dada is saying, put it in it, so sometimes I do that as well, but I write That you should do puja and rituals on your day, hey you should take care of your family, don't they know that I have taken care of my family well, now my age has reached that those who I had taken care of are now looking at me, they are taking care of me who are making my videos my kids are my family when you make a video how much time does it take you and how much practice do you have to do you have to practice I have to remember it; sometimes it takes me three to four days as well. In the beginning it used to take me a lot of time, now what do I know? Since I have been having a little problem in remembering the songs because I have not heard Bollywood songs, I do not remember them. I like songs; I first memorize the songs, remember the lines, then I watch the videos of the film, how the actor and actress have danced, I take out some things from that, make some from my own mind, there are some reels which have good actions. So I feel that this action is good, so a lot of things get collected, some of mine, some from the film, some seen by someone, I mix all of them and then make it, yes you know if someone watches a video then he feels that it is very It is easy but it takes a lot of hard work and it takes a lot of time. Then it takes me two to three days and how many takes would I have to take, it doesn't take many, I mean I see it myself and I felt like I made a video like mine. I put this action in it, this one remained, then I tell my son that action, what not mummy it turned out well, you have a lot of energy in it So I said no, that one is left with action, so those two or three, maximum two or three, not more than that, sometimes in a single take it goes so well that you say, mummy, it's very good, leave it, it's done, this also happens, great I noticed that in our project, when we used to organize a tech day where we taught technology to our seniors, a lot of seniors used to come to learn, so you also again bomb in to fb and Instagram too, how much you have learned on your own in three years I don't feel like learning all these technical things about who she is and how she thinks. I don't feel like learning all of them. I just want to stick to my art of dancing, singing and playing the tabla. Now I have learnt from the kids that if my video is coming, then the comments are coming in it, how many viewers have there been, what all comments are there, then like them, write thank you so much, I don't write much because if there is a mistake If this happens and he reaches somewhere else, there will be a big problem and what is your future plan, what is in my mind now It is not like that right now, I am really making it, but if it happens that I have an audition for a serial or a film then I will give it, ok I would like to go in it or I should go oh lovely very nice and when like Daljit Dosanjh and you know alot of people liked your videos and now you have become popular, so what, how are you feeling, what are you feeling, it feels very good, I felt very good and it still feels good when someone shares my reel He does this and writes in it that Dil di Dosanj had written that my day was made, Shahrukh also wrote this, I am walking towards you, Kishore there was a song, Teri or chaliya re, yes, he wrote that I was walking towards you and I liked it very much. Look, such a big place is being written for me by Alia Bhatt, Vishal Bharadwaj, Shia Ghoshal, Kareeb Karab Kafi, who are singers, actresses, directors, all these people have shared it, it feels very good that they are recognising my dance and that I can also dance well People like my dance, it makes me feel very good, in fact I get more Is it or not and do it lovely and I hope you keep going with the energy. Now one last question to you, any advice, any thoughts for those who are retiring or about to retire or have already retired? I would say to them that for every person There is some talent inside you, whether it is cooking, stitching, knitting, crochet or any other work, if you have that talent and you are never able to do it in life, then you should retire when you are 60 plus or even 50 plus. If you are a family member and your children are busy with their own work, then you should start your second innings because now social media has become so strong that you can create that thing, do new things, you can show your skill through social media. If you put it on the internet then you will also become famous, so this is how you will start your second innings, so when you become famous then it is possible that you may start getting work, you can start working from home, I have seen some people who are learning cooking. He was very fond of it, he made a new dish and posted it, it got shared so much that If you become very famous, whether it is exercise, yoga or art, you start that. You wanted me to do something and move forward. Now your time has come, so you make it and share it on social media. Then see where you go. Where should I reach from here? Don't sit idle because when you share, you will get compliments, you will get energy, your time will pass, the thoughts that come to you in a haphazard manner, you will not go into that, start your new life and live your new life, thank you so much. Ma'am thank you for sharing your last really nice thank you thank you so much thank you ma'am thank you for coming it was a very nice interaction and I came to learn from this that if you had any childhood passion actually retirement becomes a very good time to Try it, it's a great time to see what you have really missed out on and other things, there is some art in everything, sometimes cooking, sometimes knitting, sometimes something different, you must try and find out what your passion is, I really enjoyed The Interaction Ain't Time See You Then.

Welcome to another episode of Adding Zindagi to Years. I remember when I was roaming in the cyber hub wherever I saw hoardings of her face was thereafter that When I pulled out the Air India app, her face was there too, Then Fab India, Then Murder, Mubarak, Then Call Me Bay, You Can Name It, She's been in so many ads and so many films; it's so exciting, one of the reasons I am excited is because she is my Mom, Bela Gupta I really like to welcome her and learn from her what she's gone through over these years as a so you'd think I know a lot about her, but I'm very excited about this particular show because I think I will learn new things about her which I Never Knew Before, So I would like to Welcome Her And Inspire All Of Us How To Transform Life After 60. Welcome, Mom Thank you son, God bless you, thank you so much, mom, it's good to be here, it's good to be here, I'm so excited, I'm going to have a lot of fun because you know, they're only a few times in life a son gets a chance to interview his mom and get to know her life from a very different angle so very excited about it you know we as a family are superproud of you the kind of work you've done and it's so nice to see you reinvent yourself but before I go in to that reinvent me you know i knew you've gone through a very interesting difficult childhood you know i'd be different i'd be difficult in the same sense what's your can you tell me more about it again so where you want me to start right from beginning it's a long journey me so tell me about you being adopted right and when did you get to know about that o my god it's a very emotional side of it anyway i'll start seeing even i didn't know that i was an adopted child y'all till i think 11 years of age i had no clue who adopted you actually my both mothers my biological mother and the one who adopted them and both sisters ok and my father they and both brothers so two sisters married to same family elder one with younger one sister has a younger brotherelder sister has a younger brother so they have two sisters also and real sister also so my elder like supposed to be my uncle and tauji they had no children and those times you know this IVF things were not there it is so common now you know so and my biological parents had five kids I was in between mind I had a brother and sister older to me and a brother and sister younger to me I was and you are the only one Adopted I knew my elder sister also was adopted but then after few days she was not legally adopted they tried to take her but then she didn't want to stay with them but one they took me for few days I was very comfortable with them so they said they wanted to adopt me i was too young you know i didn't know about this but neither did i grow up you knew around like some of the family functions and all that times relations would be just you knowing looking at me saying o you no she's so and so's daughter but has been adopted oh she is growing up beautifully she's grown up a lot and someone over heard it but that really left a no emotional impact on me i said what the hell they are talking about no like 11 year old hearing all of a sudden that the parents i'm living with they are not my own parents but you know i was I'm very shy and very introvert I was never very feeling like I knew I felt a little insecure also and all that but I knew you didn't realize it then after few days you knew how children were they forgot and they just didn't understand so that was one part of it which was really you know do you ever approach your biological parents and this and did you ever talk about this I used to know I never spoke to anybody I never I mean let them also know that I know the fact okay I kept it to myself oh wow some of you know I felt it would be awful for them you know like if I told my parents that you adopted me I don't know how they would I never wanted to hurt them I just kept myself okay very normal and this is some emotional strength you have which i think is from child yes i think blessed with that you know that i could hold my self and din let it out to anyone so and so the responsibility everything was of the uncle and the uncle older couple yes you know we used to meet even no i used to meet them like my uncle aunt and I to go on the summer vacation because they were not in delhi they were in UP bareilly and we were in delhi so it wasn't I was meeting them day to day so for me my own brother biologically and my cousin and i use to go to their house only in summer vacation and to spend time like okay cousin has come and you know two of my parents of course welcome me like their own child but I fail them they are like I was loved close to my other parents who had adopted me so I understood this adopted thing and and you name it very much like the emotional strength you had or very muchIt's good given and I know you believe in good in very different manner after college you did not follow profession right after college oh no immediately after my graduation I got married in march I finish my exams in april I got married I was engaged in january and Yet so there was no room to pass anything for I did not have to give business family girl ok graduation yaw run ok yes medical if you are then do it ahead but they want to go that far so I got married immediately after that but you know one thing uncle my jest to learn new things never faded out you know after marriage also after having two kids also i always kept on personing something or the other i learnt my hair my makeup classes i did a proper one year diploma course from YWCA about the beauty got into This, you know, beauty culture after the wedding, after having children o wow ya, and then I did a proper hair stylist thing from pivot point chicago i went for an international competition also abroad oh wow so you know and you know one thing was that my husband never stopped me from suffering what ever i wanted to learn and do but then he never wanted me to move out and work you know that was one thing he was very very noisy i told my husband see you do not want me to work out so why do you give me some space at home only let's start something small and you know that's how i thought I pushed him, persistence became key to success for me, Nelly he said, okay, okay, now the kids are going to school, so you have time, do the first half of the day, what will you do, I will tell you to give me a small cute salon call, so we had a three storied house so opened in the ground floor i started my salon that's how in 1984 i entered into business wa so my passion became my business which is fantastic this year we are completing 40 years it's a 40 years and fantastic and i know simran is kind of handling it's amazing what she does on that to tell me from a perspective you know one of the things you'll learn you have very tastefully pursued this idea of ​​business you kind of go through this it is it something you learn along the way and it is something you think god gave to you see certain things are of course you know you are gifted with and certain things like business and since I was daughter to a businessman then married to a businessman so that comes you know automatically but yes I was gifted with certain things things yes like my fashion sense and I know you enjoy that to I remember my Mother use to, even if you make me wear khadi, it will feel like velvet, you know It's very sweet of her I remember the first time I wanted to buy a bag for my wife when I came to you you were the one who advised me that then you are a go to for not just medicine but to a lot of the fashion thinking we have in the house so these things are of course gud gifted o and i know with your first husband there was a tragedy which happened can you talk a little bit tell me a little bit more i know the tragedy happened but i would love to know more what happened and how you handled it or that was really a i think the worst face of my life i was just 39 years old and my salon was 10 years old because i started in 84 and 94 this thing happen i was in the salon only and some guy called me you know that there was an accident and we have found his driving license and we are calling you it very bad accident and you should rush first i thought it was some hoax call or something because it was so unbelievers so i was really into yno suspicious state of shock what you know so i wasrush and it was really very very shocking thing yno anything that happens so suddenly someone i am leaving home and then not coming back ever so that was really bad and children were very small that's how old he was tarun and sim they were in the teeth i think he was 14 and she was not the one who would have be you had you are going through your own emotions their emotions are also not developed yet right so or so it was a I think that was the worst phase of my life and you know I was totally a diva petted broken but then no I looked at I know I have to gather I have to live for this children and I had mother with me an aging mother also you so looking at her three I think I had to pull up my strength and I decided that I have to raise them very well now what ever happens so happen you know so I can Be just making the whole environment sad and what have these children done You know why they should be you know at least let me do what's the best I can do as a single parent I think that strength gives me the courage to go ahead and you know the pull my self back to the line and the same passion got me into business that saved me you know because my attention there was something to look upon you know I new I have to raise the children well educate them there was a long way for them togo and at 1 i was not that experience ya know so but i learnt i thank you time i am great healer certain things no you know they come to you they bring along some courage also some wisdom also I don't no god kindly help me so I pass them well but I'm proud of it I don't really I look back and I look from where I started and how I brought them up got them married I think I did you I think you did brilliant not just alright I think you loved him admiringly that's difficult you know and you we had chats about this but our chats would just be on that level and I understand the challenge but you know I didn't know as you know those things become far more difficult when your going through it or now tell me what made you do a second marriage you know you know I know you went through so many of this challenge you did well for yourself you took care of the kids the mother i remember meeting grandma she was so much love like it just crazy ya ya so what got you to the second marriage ma see my mother do she was very old but she was very broad minded also once you know tarun simran they got married and I was 49 and she said that and she must be 80 My mother, she said, it's enough now, the kids have grown up and got married, what are you thinking, coming from my mom, I was, what am I thinking, no, I mean you too, now I just kept quiet, I didn't answer because I was not sure what she is saying because i was not expecting anything coming from her and simran my daughter was you know your sister was very close to me so i told that nani says yes mum even we think you know that they should look for a company know it started like a very light conversation and then i said no what do i am going to find somebody you No I am happy with my work and all it's been 20 years and now I am working but nothing happens if you look at it you know we started looking at two times or no those matrimonial columns used to come so oh I am your dad hai to and there some how you know my eyes got stuck at your dad ad because there was something special in two three lines you know he said so and so and whoever you are looking for I am looking for a person with very positive attitude who is willing to share a beautiful family with me and yanos two three words y'all really stuck i said ok and then there was a contact number mobile number so i just called yanno i don't know what made me call either they had magic with words anyway sot wa strength truly those words are so catchy that i just call that number and you know what day was that 91 and then 91 oh my god i can't forget that day and date so and he replies back and that's it like you know now you're almost going back to a dating scene at the ya it was so amusing i told you but your dad was so naughty At that age so he was hiding me he told me he will be wearing a red shirt I think red was his favourite he was wearing a red t-shirt and then he said how would I recognise you I said I will be coming in a black dress okay then I entered the lobby some how he saw me walking and he hid behind the pillar and then I am looking all around and then he coming out of the pillar smiling at me hi I didn't see this but that was you no like so that was loved a kid so how did you guys date for 15 months 15 months ya and you know we deliberation chose the time for us we never wanted to rush on things wanted to understand the family meet the friends because it's not just you we know too much you no concern the family you kids my kids everybody you know so and during dos 15 year months i think I met everybody Chacha Chachi Bua everybody and of course his friends his Britsian friends his Rotary friends his Patna friends I think there was nobody left I met everybody and from my side he met all my in-laws he met my mother in law my mother And my sister in law is my husband's sister because we wanted our families also to approve of this relation it's not just between two of us I think that was very important I think at that as you know in India no you are getting remarried I think lots of people just another because of embarrassment hide too much away you know the end and don't commit to it end in your case you guy are very committed making noise with the family remember i was in the us and i got a letter from dad written by hand written again his magic with words and he actually asking for my permission and I felt like you know like I've always asked my dad for permission it's really a big decision he was asking and I felt like really emotional about it and I remember going through that thing and I was really a nice feeling I thought the the way you guys just took the family together was just extremely extremely nice you know it was brilliant to see but you know there was a very beautiful thought behind it you know what we decided both of us that we have to set examples in the society we don't have to hide from the society we are not doing anything colour about it i have done my duties very well i have raised the children very well i still looking after my mother and i with their due approval we are going ahead so what's the point to hide i took in confidence my mother in also my sister in law also all concern because see from my parent side my brother sisters were abroad and who was sover here majorly my in laws had become my parent's family because that was a large family and I had a very small family and being an adopted child I was the only one so and father was no more there so my mother and my children and my in-laws they were the people I was more concerned about and they were ok with it so they hide and between us also we took that we have to set An example to the society where there is no embarrassment, nothing to shy away Like if you want to go ahead should there be any stigma I know I don't know like I know from our side like dad'sside my nani had a challenge y'all obviously we know if you're taking about 50 60 people on board you're gonna have a few challenge did you get any of those challenge there wasn't every buddy had a every buddy wanted to see me happy and you know I was like more like a daughter to them my in-law said like you know when I got married to your dad my in-law said that They brought her as a daughter-in-law and are giving her as a daughter, you know I am really very blessed with that every person and I think my in-laws were there in the wedding also and I watch is really so nice and I am glad you know you guys did That you know from a son's perspective it was a shock to meet him the first time but I was very happy That you know I know it's difficult you know you're in your late 40's early 50's you have a long life to go and companies are a critical what ever said and done the relationship of husband wife is very different from a child relationship right so I thought that was a very very good call to attend the wedding was just so nice and to meet you was brit but im going to just take this for you married for company got a new challenge with that right or so a little bit about that that was again A turning point of lift you know i say my life judge never been like it's been like this or role or happiness coming then being deprive then coming but and you know there was a time when your dad was diagnosed with cancer or and the doctor said six Months I remember imagine I was just five years into the wedding into this relationship and then from 49 you r 54 and then this big shock on it was all dark in front of me i don't know now you know how to take but again you i said ok i have to you give him best and take this because i never wanted my pull down face to affect him because he is the one who needed more strength than me because as a patient you know how once it is diagnosed and you are told i think the patient takes it ok now it's the end of it but here I think the positive side of your dad also help me to you know look after him he was himself very willing and very positive and wanted to live life i remember when i when dad broke the news to me i think you were there also and the way he broke the news was like ankur has gut cancer but i don't want you to cry i want you to be positive about it and the funny thing is at that time i realize only thing about me i never had a thought about you now i look back and say you know the kind of emotions you'd have gone through was far more difficult than you know y'know you just left a business you know you left your you gained one family but you also left a family and that came as a result left a family left my well established business everything behind and I take my children what ever is there I am not coming back it's all for you and you know so but then of course I feel very insecure because you know, just for five years, you know with grown up children understanding the family culture was different, everything was different, or I being a Punjabi coming from a Punjabi family and coming to a Marwari family, like you know everything was different, food, everything and all there Rituals So I was of course very insecure when I got this news but then there is there is no way out to fight it out and you know I think that time you know what your father said is had I some more time you know bella I just use to sometimes call me choti because your mom was you know I didi then he said yes you know I said that Manju didi and he would say yes younger she that would become a younger one so he said younger if I get some more time then there are companies at this verge you know like from here only you know one or two person companies Take to that thing you know and I wanted some time I said never mind our children are brilliant enough you know worry you just take care of yourself we will make the best of this thing they are capable of they are very well and I trust my children and you say or I also trust them but still I said no no no don't worry they will take care of the company and then I decided that I am not going to ask you for any help unless needed i will take care of his medical and everything regarding treatment and i will let children be you know you are just unbelievers taken if a doctor would ask like and he lives five years and i think a lot of credit goes to you and the kind of kind of work you do you know you traveled to Germany with him number of times and it was just it was tough but I want to now go back to you a little more on this you know when again we lost dad you know Somewhere in at a family level we thought you know yourself, you know life, life goes on and we we have to tell you what did dad also to us but we never come, I don't remember myself also coming to you and saying mum what's next for you what's going on in your head and after a couple of years i saw you in this zone of modeling you what went on in this you no i thank it for two years fam no we lust did to be you in the modelling site what happened in two years what got you back to your glamour personality check after he pastor they were a void children grown up their children their family in my career i so i am absorbed in my family i had to fill this void on my own so i tried lot of ngo's i visited lot of ngo's my rotary programs and my other things my friend circle but you know it's ok i spend few years with them and did that finding my happiness my uno space but it was good i liked it but then there was something else urgency to do nobody to spend my time in a very productive way there I was just window shopping and going for lunch and going for the fellowship rotary fellowship don't give me that contentment or i wanted to do something more to because i have been working all my life i haven't left work it was only for your dad because i wanted to travel and stay away from work and i did n't even feel like working i never knew even if we went to germany i think we had been there for Two years we went 12 times to Germany like it became my second home six weeks I was here and two weeks in Germany then coming back six weeks here then Germany so in those trips also we used to travel you know like we did Black Forest all that bad bun spas and all that but then you know now it was a different life all by myself i had to find my way so yno work as i told was always on my mind but i never wanted to work where i needed full time like 8 to 10 hours and kind of a thing everyday routine kind of that I had done enough of it and I was out of that and now naturally 10 years also added to the age you know and Simran had also taken up the business from one salon she had five salons or chain of salons so she was doing brit here you guys are doing brilliant you carried the company very Well I'm very proud of you and I'm sure your dad will be very proud of you so then I was finding my niche so I said I want something when I feel like I can do it and when I don't feel like it's okay Because I never wanted to give up my other things you know my family priority my social media my travel my friend circle so thatchy son in law he is into music and all that I mention happens to just talk about suss tai ji you are only for camera Stand in front and you are a model and if you are a model then make me a model then you know it just happen you know what has to happen you know how it it's almost like a second wedding it's almost like this right just some times luck follows luck follows so I said that okay then we will become models so what do we have to do tell us a good Just make a profile and I will give it to one or two of my friends, you can also see, maybe it's okay, okay, and in a very casual way, how it happened and I think one I gave my profile with a week i got this indigo thd and the hoardings and the prince and all over every metro yano bangalore outside the airport india delhi cyber hub and all those places malcha mga i think on the vasant kunj lane just opposite emporio so this you know people calling me taking the pictures of the hoardings and sending me I say this or this is something you know very nice it really you know excited me I am too famous in this day like so I think from there I got the thing I decided ok this is for me as a son I was super proud I was showing of you every where look at me mom every buddy used to look at me that you son really I was like ha It's not fake son so it's so great and you know we've seen you now like you know you have a problem some times but it doesn't stop you you know I like it was just you know if they give you a shoot you will make the The world turn around You almost like passion coming live Yes I think I'm different just when I stand you know in front of the camera Some magic happens you know from Where the energy comes I don't know but I'm best when I'm at work Honestly telling then No health problem nothing just happens or and you've actually gone through now the second knee replacement and I know you know that would have been a different challenge but I know you were you still doing stuff this what was going on in your eye know I came seeing you your little bit it is hurting a little but when I looked I couldn't see the pain you know what I made the best use of it I was not after my post my replacement you know of course I was on bed for two months yknow and all that was a lot you know cutting all the muscles and you know then rehab then all these exercises and you know physiotherapy major part so those two months you know where i could go to work but at home i made best use of time by you know refreshing my work links other things which i was just you know pushing and the paper and getting piles sorted out those things and made best use of that time you know so literally I was working one I was at home also because I have to cook in me your work is where i feel happiness it gives me a sense of you satisfiedly i see love and passion in you i know you come to our office and you know you start learning and then what about what I get your nature now i know you know more than i do it's nothing but in this digital age i never went through like now so i saw my small grand children also like on the computer everything they even now they are having online class they know no lot about it but in our times you no computers and I think you came after your masters you were the one who made even the whole office change you know you computerize everything the software and your dad used to come here from USA he is spending a lot he is spending a lot He said that I have done everything, I said that the efficiency of work has increased, what is the new normal, it is increasing the expenses, so you know We hadn't seen all this so for me it was when I started modelling everything like I had to make my profile I had to send the emails send my work links so it was all you know learning on the job like so I had So and I was clueless then I would rush to your office and then who is he in IT, there is Ibrahim in it, there is Jaikumar in it, ok come and help me I am stuck here how to go about it, so you have to learn it, you have to learn it completely and now So when we go on such a family holiday now we feel more like photographers, we have got used to it, nang every moment is so nice of that and ah I really you know I know that your loving it, it's not just it, you know it's not a financial need it's a need for love right what you love to do at the end and at the same time i know that you also know you know one other thing ch aa seen you i like you know even did passing relationship you me with my friends still look up to you still call me you love me there it's not like so much what's this thing about you you know what to drive you side by side your dad and me have loved you have been people friendly friends have loved you been ay absolutely mantra absolutely so now I said say I have again I said nothing has been normal to me I have two sets of parents two sets of inlaws child so about relationship I really love to you know you know friends good friends You are a great blessing in my life so you don't want to lose them after your dad it's not only that I give my distinguished time and affection and love to them it was reciprocated they also stood by me I'm glad you know then i think too dad to have you for two 10 years i think it was a blessing of many levels too him right it was not just at one level i think a company it was kind of complete otherwise i think he would have had a very different challenge if he went there so i think you know both of you guys did something which was incredible and you know for you to continue those relationships also for you it's not easy and i'm glad you enjoy it so one of the things is also with which is there it's not just you know this idea that if you have to have purpose and you what enjoy the purpose both at the same time so you have this purpose of saying that the second marriage can be actually a blessing for a lot of people and we should be looking at that as a blessing and you know having this whole idea of ​​people are It's very important in building that relationship that similar kind of challenge happens to you During this modelling phase and you know did people kind of say what are you doing Bella yaar now in this judgement also you know you are supposed to do this kind of a thing no fortunately nobody pointed out I never got any negative comment red they all you know if you read my messages and I said oh my god you are such an inspiration I loved getting positive feedback and just three days back only I met the pillania friends n function and each one personally came and said we are so glad and we keep watching you and we see how you know have taken your life ahead and its an inspiration to all of us i think is another thing which made me to you give a good message to the person so i feel my marriage is good myself I'm a very big message to the society, I mean people who are just thinking whether they should go or they are shy about opening up, they need a partner but they are just shy to me i think it's a good example a family it itself is a good example and my marriage i find if i had been help to you this thing to do treatment and but then he left a good family for me you kids i mean You are my support system and we are living all together happy you know like all daughters in law and like I then when I tell every friend you know they say how many children you have I said I have four sons-in-law and a daughter and seven Grandchildren really came I really have them and I don't think there is any difference or any behaviour change in any of us is it biological or something I don't feel any difference and the kind of you know my grandchildren were around me Grandma please sign this diary, uncle please sign it, I have to come early or I don't have to attend this class today, so this is how relationships are, I don't think there is any stigma and my modelling too I think it's like as I get the feedback it's an inspiration too many people keep holding themselves in, they what to do, you know they are passionate but they don't know what people will say, what the society will say, you should feel that what Whatever you are doing is right and you are doing it with the right intention and if you have the courage and strength then people will join you so the right people will become magnets and the right people will kind of reject them sells right So I think it's very important mom one more thing I just want to talk about this whole dad's dream of senior living and I think it started with this and I'm glad you're living this life actually what dad wanted you to know dad said that you knew retirement is an age of finding purpose again right so when he started senior living with that mindset so tell me a little bit about your like you know when dad you know Going back to that senior living piece a bit when dad was thinking you were right in the middle like I think you got married 2002 we got married 2003 it was like his passion project right project I remember or so talk about that a bit from I remember an incident when we were you know choose the name for our senior living ok you know and different names came up and then the celebration came so your dad was says this is the right name you know i said what you find about it says because this is the time We have to celebrate our life toh utsav hai na we have to celebrate our life because we are over and done with our you no duties children are grown up now they are in business they have they are married they have their children so we are free Now from what you know and now it's the time one we have to celebrate our life and do what we are passionate about it weather it's travel weather anything any hobby singing anything you're not interested in so now it's the time to reinvent our selves and our passions so and it makes sense you know I'm doing exactly the reason i brought it and it just came right now in my head was that actually you are living what he wanted scenes to live i am so unique in its own nature and i love the fact that you are doing it and it just came right now in my head was that actually you are living what he wanted scenes to live i am so unique in its own nature and i love the fact that you are doing it and it just came and i feel Him along with me he is always a source of inspiration to me you know how positive he was and to all of us right I became I know I am all blessed to have you know a little bit of him or so it wasn't maybe not The quantity of time I could get with him but I got quality of time with him I agree with that so Lovely mom and you know I am so glad you are celebrating life and enjoy what you passionately do I just had one last question and you know what do you think in this journey there is one and two lessons that made you celebrate life I think the positivity and The you know life I feel is a gift O god we should feel very you know this sense of life should not be wasted it should be every moment should be led and lived happily and with a purpose it's not to be wasted or it's very precious i treat id like a gift gift of god so yano i just want to make best use of my each day so its not that what will I do today I am bored no I will tell you one thing when I make my day calendar I have so there are many things on it that I write 10 things and my day is over after seven and eight things there are two things left but I am Happy they are left and come to the next day because I have more things to do than and you have more to give to the society to the world and I am so glad I love singing so I have my singing groups and singing it by myself It is a meditation, I feel wow and you sing beautifully, if you can hear your voice in the Gurudwara, then you feel like this, I started from Gurudwara, I remember he said that I like Shabad Kirtan very much, my first one was very, again I told you he was very spiritual and any worldly problem he would sit with the spiritual angle you know every night we would go after dinner for a bit of work outside the house and any day to day problem we would just you know discuss and he would put Ultimately an answer would be from a spiritual angle so that's so good, God must have been happy, I do n't know about God My husband became happy and then I came here then dad was full of other music or he was very ritualistic and spiritual but believe me for me he used to go to gurudwara with me go to Purva s with me every where he would go to golden temple weaver you know I would you had to dressed him up as Shammi Kapoor also you made him dance like Shammi Kapoor that was a theme in the rotary you know like the bollywood and I became like Mumtaz and he was Shammi Kapoor and aajkal tere mere pyar There were also discussions about death and I think we were just married then those discussions were happening about love so we were together on that number so I am glad you know dad was tried to do this for others and he was living that too you know he was doing all of the things like you know dressing up enjoying life without any kind of thing and or it is such a beautiful feeling i remember joy mentioning wad that When you came, Bhaiya's entire dream came true here, so the song 'Wana', that Shrabh Kirtan became a Ghazal, those film songs became Sanana, so I think I am like a water jar, brother, it will take shape, so it's okay, I count my blessings. That I count my blessings to you I thank you so much mom thank you for coming I thank you for lots of love and so much learning and I really I'm glad we did this because even at a time you knew we were doing it in front of a camera but I think i learned a lot about you i too forgot about camera aa chatting nasty telling like no good you just did this on a different day y everything happens by divine this thing and i think when ever it is to happen it is the right time so thank you so I thank you son it was pleasure and I think I also got a time to vent out myself after I don't know how Because I was so into day to day work then never thought so much looking back at things you know so it was a good opportunity to talk to you thank you mom really nice to have you hear it was really an interesting conversation today was a great Day for me to know more about her what I loved about this conversation was the idea that my mom is living the life my dad wanted others to live and I really again go back to her strength of spirituality the way she has this emotional strength of knowing her self where she knows herse and does she really really wants it was great having mom here learn so much from her see you next time have a great.

Ashish: Very excited to have you both here. Host: Thank you very much for that. Thank you. Host: So, I just want to start straight up. You guys got married at a later age. What got you – how did you guys meet? What happened? Can you talk about a bit about it? Ashish: If you look at life, you know, we want to do something good with our life, right? And a very key part of that is to be happy while doing whatever that we want. And it happened at a point of time when she was on her own, I was on my own, and I would love to have her answer that in this point and then I'll take it up. Rupali: I was – I have a handloom – shop, I mean a – studio, okay? And we have – I have a cafe also. We have three partners. So, I was working there. He came for vlogging in our cafe. Oh, so that is how we met for the first time. Host: Lovely. And what made you look at a partner at this – this time? Rupali: That date was nothing. He did vlogging. We – I just found he's a very kind person and a very down-to-earth person. And then we had a common relative who – said that why don't you give yourself a chance and talk to him? And I think similarly, he – she told you also. And that is how we got talking to each other and then slowly we gave some time and then we got to know each other and – went forward. Host: Okay. Tell me, you know, this is more of a question. So, my – my father remarried at the age of around 55. He took out an ad looking for somebody. You know, it was a very clear, you know, situation. But in your case, there was somebody in between. Was there clarity that you want a marriage or it was just a – a companionship? How do you go about, you know, at that kind of a juncture to know each other better? Rupali: I realized – when I was alone and – I was married before, so – and he passed away. So, during that time that I was alone on my own, I realize the – the importance of a companion in your life. So, because companionship is something is – where you have many things to share and you – everyone is busy in their own lives. They give you company, but not always there's one person's of your own who you can speak to openly. You know, so I really understood the importance of that, the value of that. And then I was open to it. Host: Oh, wow, great. And what about you? Ashish: Yeah, you know, so I've – I've always wanted a home to come home to, to travel with. So, – as life moved me in a particular way and I found myself on my own, I was clear that I did not want to remain that way. Okay? I wanted to be in a marriage. So, you ask for things in life. So, what happens, Anur, is that typically, you know, we – we sometimes think that we should stop asking, you know, at some age, at some point in life. You say, "Don't ask now." Whereas what I've understood in life is that life actually is a series of amazing moments and they happen over different years. They started at birth, then at 16, 17, 18 happened, and now in my case, say it's 59, 60, you know, all that. But there's still going to be moments. So, can I give value to each moment? So, so I – I believe that I really valued when I was 18. I valued when I was 24. I valued when I was 44. I also value now at 59. So, when you want to value your life – that's when you ask for things that you really wish for yourself. Host: I'm glad. And asking for more, having certain expectations is a great thing till you don't have expectations or dreams. They don't come true. And now I had another question. Did you propose to her for marriage? Like, what – what – how did it go about? Like, you know, earlier years, arranged marriage, parents agreed on you. You – you – you ask her. So, I asked her, said, "I want to –" So, so here is a very interesting thing, you know, it – and it is – it lies hidden in the question itself. – So, a person who gets married at, say, 30, will not be asked these questions because there is something – it's an enemy. It doesn't fit into that thing. How can you get married at this age? There's something. So, I have experienced that people at L feel in a way pressured that this is – this is the only way life can be from here on, all right? Whereas I have always felt that, you know, people have different professions, people live in different areas, they eat different food, and their ways of bringing up their families are also so different, correct? But how come there are certain things that, you know, agism brings in, and they are asking you to diminish yourself continuously even though you want it, but you – no, no, diminish – diminish. So, that is where, you know, where I have always felt – um, that even in terms of how I have repurposed my life, I've always felt that one has to work with passion, live with passion. So, when I met her and we got chatting, – I was very clear that I wanted someone to get married to. So, once we knew – knew a little bit about each other, got a sense of what one another was, that's when I asked her that I want to get married to you. Host: Oh, wow, yes. So, – and was it like a grand gesture, romantic gesture, or a – a quiet gesture? Ashish: No, it was just a phone call. A phone call. Host: Awesome, fantastic. I'm sure it takes a lot of guts in different ways. – Um, tell me as – as a person, were you looking for like, when you were looking at settling at this age, were you looking at something because you've been in a marriage before? Was there something else you were looking for in that person, or you knew exactly what you wanted, or is it still the – the same kind of emotions you go through as a – as the first time? Rupali: The only thing is that – for me, important was companionship. And I go to work. Yeah, I have a studio, as I said, Nam, with three of us. We – it – and of something, yeah. And – uh, when I come back home, I want to go back to a home to a family, you know, where you have someone of your – of course, my – uh, mother is there, brother, sister, but then home is like, you know, your own person. So, that I understood the value, as I said, value of that. And I was looking – that was the main thing that I have someone to talk to, that I have someone to go back to. So, emotional – emotional support of a – of a kind. Yes, yes. And – um, yeah, you feel full. Your life feels – I am the kind of person, maybe. So, I'm glad you are because I think that's one thing which is missing. I think now it's starting. Lots of conversations are happening, like my father remarried, and I know what he went through. And to – he asked me permission for getting married, and he wrote a letter to me. So, I understand the challenges it kind of goes through, right? It's not an easy – it's as if it's as if you want to seek permission from life. Yeah, that can I breathe easy. You know, you want to seek permission from life to – that is the thing that is how things are. And – and you know, it's a funny thing, as you said, that your father asked for per – permission from you. And – uh, so I'm a male. She's a,

When we think of retirement, we think of seniors in a particular way, and we need to change that way. This show is going to talk all about the idea of age is just a number. I'm going to get guests who have done this in the past, who have really lived a life from very, very low to very, very high. Welcome to a new show, Adding Zindagi to Years. Welcome to another episode of Adding Zindagi to Years. We divide life into three parts. The first is childhood, where we get educated, play pranks, and play. The second is where we take responsibility, our jobs, and our family responsibilities. The third, which we call old age, my next guest has lived a very different life, and it will be very exciting to talk to her to know what she has done in the past, how she looks at her life right now, and how she looks at her future of her life. I am very excited to welcome Miss Neeru Saini. Welcome, welcome to the show, Ma'am. Very excited to have you here. Thank you. It's my pleasure too. Your story, I understand you got married early, 20 years old when you got married. Good homework. So, just want to know about, you know, you had a little bit of, you know, you had a lovely marriage, but you had tough times in the early ages. So, can you talk about it a bit with us? Yes, I got married at the age of 20, and it was an arranged marriage. My husband was in the army, a Chief Officer when we got married. After that, he got promoted and became a Captain. I have sailed as a Captain's wife as well. My daughter also sailed with us for five years, and it was a fairy tale story, you can say, a love story like that. And then, after eight years of my marriage, we got the news that he had blood cancer, CML, that is Chronic Myeloid Leukemia, and the doctors gave him only four years of time. And we even imported medicine from America, which was very expensive for us, like 1.3 lakhs per month, something like that. But his body got some resistance against that medicine, so he survived only the four years that the doctors had given. And in December 2002, he passed away. And you had two daughters at the time? Yes, my younger daughter was four years old, and the elder daughter was ten years old at that time. And I was a housewife, so you can say that life changed completely like a roller coaster, all of a sudden. Okay. So, I'll move on from there. And when you know, he left you, what was in your mind? What was the situation at home? What was the situation in the society at large? What was going on? It was like, first of all, the money was good, but during the disease, like the property that is built, much envy, like that also went away because of the disease. So, not much, you can say, funds were not there. So, I had to do something to run my house. I was a housewife. On his death, I started from scratch. The first tuition I took was from tuition itself. So, why did you choose tuition? I didn't choose tuition. My mother chose me. I wanted to do business because I wanted to earn money for my daughters. So, my mother refused, saying that you will not leave the house, you will not leave the children outside, daughters are yours, either you give them to us and get married, otherwise, if I have decided that I will not get married, I have to give my daughters a mother, like a father's role, I have to play, then she said that then you will stay with your daughters, you will do business, then you will earn money, but you will go in the morning and come back at 12 o'clock, 10 o'clock. There are so many people I met on the way of life who helped me so much that you will not even meet me, I don't even know their name, phone number, but they are in my heart and here. And we were discussing this earlier that, you know, we were talking that generally people are good, if you ask for help, many people come to help, but we only remember those who do bad to us. We forget this. I'm glad you are grateful to so many people who helped you out. Great. And these, these, these meditations teach. Now tell me all these beautiful things you are doing. What's your favorite? What has been the couple of favorites? You know, to enlightenment, tell us a few, few of your favorite things. Traveling is fate, traveling, trekking. Okay, and dancing. You have so many favorites, so tell me in, in trekking, what do you suggest, where to go, what to do? My God, trekking, glaciers, snow, jungle, alone, you go once in a jungle, there are terrible trees, talk to the trees, these have been with me for so many years, okay? Those leaves, you will be amazed, so beautiful, so green, so beautiful. This is for me, it means that I will come here on this day and see so much beauty. Yes, you can make man-made things as beautiful as you want, you cannot touch nature even a little bit. Now go to the river, which is untouched, the water is melting from the glacier, and the stones below that are flowing, the whole cluster is clear, you can see them, drink that water, there will be many minerals in them, it means that put your hand in that ice water, your hand will become numb. That kind of beauty, there is sand, the sand will look like the sea from a distance. I have seen the sea, okay? I have seen such moments in the sea that the sand sometimes becomes so calm, it will seem like you will walk and walk away, and there are only such waves of sand, and the hill is not even moving. That kind of sea has also been seen, so see those moments of sea and sand in this, there is no fear in it. When you are alone, just God, this is what he has given me, I am not afraid. Yes, you are not afraid since childhood. I am a national-level sports player, so basketball and sprinter, so bold, I was even in school, a school captain, sports captain, so even boys were afraid that she will hit, but they have a problem with the bike, with the solo ride, they say go in a group, take one person with you, at least they know that if something happens to him, we will not even know where he is and what happened to him. They are very scared, so they just tell me that you have to go with someone, not alone. It's parents for you, but I don't listen. And it's a kid, fantastic. I'm glad you're living that life. I remember in one conversation you were saying that, you know, you're living a life, if you die now, no worries. You, you're saying this, you know, you're in the glaciers, you're walking, and you're not even breathing.

Mr. Tomar: Thank you for having us. Host: I've watched your videos, and they're truly inspiring. You've done some incredible things. But before we delve into your adventures, I'd like to know when you retired. Mr. Tomar: I retired on January 31, 2022. I worked for the Central Warehousing Corporation for 36 years, and I had postings in various locations, mostly around Delhi. Host: Did you always have a passion for travel? Mr. Tomar: We've always enjoyed traveling, even before retirement. We used to take advantage of government facilities like LTC to visit places like Andaman and Nicobar, Kerala, and Ladakh. But these were limited trips, usually short vacations. Host: How did you come up with the idea of traveling extensively after retirement? Was it a sudden decision or a long-term plan? Mr. Tomar: It wasn't a sudden decision. The pandemic in 2020 really made us realize that life is short and we needed to make the most of it. We had seen so much of the world and wanted to explore more. Host: What were some of the initial challenges you faced after retirement? Mr. Tomar: Initially, I focused on my physical health. I underwent physiotherapy for a few months and gradually regained my strength. Host: How did you both agree on this idea of traveling together? Mr. Tomar: We discussed it thoroughly. Sometimes couples argue about what to do after retirement, but we were on the same page from the beginning. Host: What were some of the practical steps you took to make this dream a reality? Mr. Tomar: We started small. We took short trips within India and gradually increased the duration and distance of our travels. We also learned about camping and other travel-related skills. Host: What were some of the most memorable experiences you've had on your travels? Mr. Tomar: There have been so many! One of our most memorable experiences was meeting a group of fellow travelers in Rishikesh. We learned a lot from them and formed lasting friendships. Host: What advice would you give to other retirees who are considering traveling? Mr. Tomar: Don't let age or fear hold you back. Start small, plan carefully, and most importantly, enjoy the journey! Host: Thank you both for sharing your inspiring story. It's truly heartwarming to see how you've embraced this new chapter in your lives. Mr. and Mrs. Tomar: Thank you for having us. Host: This has been a truly authentic and inspiring conversation. I believe the Tomars have truly found their passion in travel and are living life to the fullest. If you follow your passions, all obstacles will fade away.